As a teenager and during university, I wasn’t very successful with boys. I understand I wasn’t the most attractive girl in the school, and I have always been told that people should appreciate you because of the way you are and not the way you look. This is very easy to say but it doesn’t make you feel better. I was at the pub with friends last night and they were talking about a girl, who was on a date, and she was left alone only because the boy saw a much more attractive lady. I felt sorry for her as the same used to happen to me all the times. Boys came and talked to me only because they were interested in my much prettier female friends.

When I was a teenage, this was hard to accept as I wasn’t mature enough to understand that these people didn’t deserve my attention. But, eventually, I got to the point where I truly realised that what you had been told forever was true: if they didn’t appreciate the way I was, they weren’t good for me.

It took 27 years and losing 13 kilos to get to this point, but I am here now and, as I said in my first article, I will never go back. Never go back to negative choices and this includes people too. I am much more selective in giving my attentions to people, in CHOOSING friends and sharing my life with others now.

My friend Georgia gave me a very good piece of advice: our life is like our backyard; we are the only one to DECIDE who we want in and who we want out.  This is something I will always keep in my mind as I haven’t been stressing out if people like me, if they don’t, if they want to talk to me, if they don’t, if they want to invite me to their parties or they don’t, if they are nice to me or they aren’t. I don’t give a shit anymore.

During this weight loss journey, I changed my figure first. It took a bit longer to change my mind-set but I finally realise that if people don’t like me the way I am, happy and sad at the same moment, serious and crazy at the same moment, chatty and silent at the same moment, stressful and chilled out at the same moment, they don’t like me at all. Much more importantly, they don’t even deserve to be given my attentions in the first place if they look at my body before looking at me, and I am sure this means something a bit more different now!


Quando ero ragazzina e durante il periodo dell’università non avevo molto successo con i ragazzi sicuramente perchè non ero la ragazza più attraente della scuola. Mi è sempre stato detto che le persone ti devono apprezzare per quello che sei e non per le apparenze. Era facile a dirsi ma non mi faceva sentire meglio. L’altra sera, ero al pub con amici e loro stavano raccontanto la storia di una ragazza che, al primo appuntamento, è stata mollata in pieno dal ragazzo perchè lui aveva visto un’altra signorina molto più attraente della ragazza con cui era uscito inizialmente. Mi è dispiaciuto per la ragazza perchè ho pensato che lo stesso succedeva sempre anche a me. Tutti i ragazzetti venivano a parlarmi non perchè erano interessati a me ma alle mie amiche più carine di me.

Quando ero ragazzina, non riuscivo ad accettare questa cosa perchè non ero matura a sufficienza da capire che queste persone non meritavano la mia attenzione. Ma alla fine sono arrivata a capire che quello che mi era stato detto da sempre era vero: se non mi apprezzavano per quello che ero non andavano bene per me.

Ci ho messo 27 anni e ho dovuto perdere 13 kili per capirlo ma alla fine ci sono arrivata e adesso non ritorno più indietro. Come ho detto nel mio primo articolo, le scelte sbagliate si fanno pure in termini di amicizie. Infatti, adesso sono molto più selettiva nel SCEGLIERMI gli amici e condividere la mia vita con loro.

La mia amica Georgia mi ha dato un bellissimo consiglio: di pensare alla nostra vita come un giardino in cui noi DECIDIAMO chi vogliamo dentro e chi vogliamo fuori. Questo consiglio lo tengo sempe in mente e, da allora, non mi stresso più se piaccio o no alle persone, se mi vogliono parlare o no, se mi vogliono invitare o meno alle loro feste, se gli sto simpatica o no. Non me ne frega niente.

urante la dieta, inizialmente, è cambiato il mio corpo, c’ho impiegato un pò di più per cambiare la testa. Ma alla fine ho veramente capito che se alle persone non gli piace come sono, felice e triste allo stesso momento, seria e pazzerella allo stesso momento, silenziosa e chiacchierona allo stesso momento, strettante e rilassata (scialla) allo stesso momento, allora non gli piace a prescindere. Molto più importante è che non vale le pena di dare le mie attenzione  a chi guarda il mio corpo prima di guardare me, e non importa se questo significa una cosa diversa adesso!



3 Comments on “The way we change – Story of my weight loss – Part 5

  1. This post reminded me of few things. The first one is related to the backyard, it echoes to a quote from Voltaire: “Il faut cultiver son jardin”.(couldn’t find a good english translation)… or the idea or being true ourselves and a friend truly is…. You rock Tere!! Just don’t become cynical Haha

  2. Permanent weight loss/improved health requires a definitive MINDSET. Becoming HAPPY with who YOU are is essential.

    There are MANY causes of unhealthy weight gain. For many, the emotional component becomes the dominating factor. Searching for answers that improve self value and self worth while discovering purposeful living makes the process of CHANGE easier. This approach produces better long term results as well.

    Congratulations on discovering a happier YOU. You can help many others by sharing your story. Helping people understand that weight loss should not FOCUS of food is important. Food is simply the vehicle people use to reduce various painful experiences faced in life. Finding and correcting the ROOT CAUSES of problems helps restore a better health status that RESULTS IN a healthier weight. This is a better LONG TERM answer (in my professional opinion.)

    • I like your blog Dr John and I wish I could have come across few years ago to begin my weight loss programme earlier. I agree that the way forward on losing and maintain weight is a healthy and balanced lifestyle! Ciao

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